You know, I have tried really hard to not get emotional about our past events that have happened this last year. I try to be so upbeat and positive.(well mostly positive) But today, lastnight, I just can't seem to keep my emotions together. I seem to only be able to consentrate on the bad, rough, not so wonderful of things right now, rather than the good side of things. I am usually the one that is Happy and sees the good in everything. I just can't seem to find that right now.

I am WORRIED about everything, and feel as if everything is being put on me to fix it. I mean Hubby is worried, and trying to get back to work for his company. But I am afraid that company is concerned about taking him back. We don't know that, they haven't said a word yet, that is what frustrates the crap out of me. But... if he dosn't get his job back, well... we are stuck, because he can't drive right now. not sure if he ever will be fully comfortable with that. He has very limited movement to his right ankle. His field usually requires a service truck, to drive to and from the jobs(his current company he takes cabs, since he flys everywhere), So he is limited now on what jobs he can do around here. (right now, this may change, I may have to just make him drive more and stop choffuering his ass around)
As for me working, I am ready (sort of) to go out there, but scared out of my mind! I really don't want to do the bank thing anymore, not with how they have turned it into a pressure sales job now. That is just not me. Not to mention with my lack of RECENT experiance, not sure that I qualify anyways. I am ready to just go to Wally World, or something to get a job. But I hate the idea of not being available to my boys. They are my life!!! This is not going to be easy for me. Not to mention, I couldn't make enough to keep us afloat on my own. Maybe hubby and I should start something up on our own. Not that we work well together, but something that we both can do and still be available to our kids. I swear I can't sleep at nights, trying to figure all this stuff out. To Fix it!!!

Please keep this family in your prayers, so far we have been very blessed!

Take care!

Cat


P.S. here are my boys... I have to tell you how very proud I am of all three of them. They have been so wonderful through this whole ordeal. I can't tell you How Much I love these guys. They are my Whole World.

(notice these dates? I need to get the camera out more and start shooting!!)